December 2009
19 posts
1 tag
mother's debut
me (in a cooing tone): isn’t feast the cutest, sweetest dog in the whole wide world mom?! Look at him!! Look at his cute little face! He’s so cutesie wutesie!!!
mom (scoffing): he should be a girl.
me: feast! close your ears!!! Mother! how dare you!
my poor feasty.
xmas wish
really itchin for some jeggings. even the name is fun!!
1 tag
requiem for a dream
today I came home from dinner at midnight. me and the fam were coming ni from the garage, and when I go into the house, my grandma was sitting in the living room, mouth agape, asleep in the dark on a sofa with the TV blaring an infomercial. it was really weird because it reminded me the old mom in requiem for a dream who buys those weight loss pills from the informercials and I felt disturbed.
1 tag
christmas eve with the family, rated R
mom: I don’t know if he’s ready for a girlfriend. especially one with a lot of demands
dad: well, then he can just get one without a lot of demands.
mom: i don’t know…
dad: instinct drives him to get a girlfriend— he can’t control it. he can only masturbate so many times!
I promptly choke on my crab
10 min later…
dad: chris. when there are small...
i hope my parents don’t try to give feastykins away again.
graduated today. studying for two hardest finals tomorrow. such is the fickle nature of berkeley.
1 tag
winter haiku
shivering toesies
space heater is a big fail
shave beast for warm socks?
research paper
i want to take all six of my books for my research paper and throw them in the toilet and say F*** YOU school!!!!
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i will sorely miss this in…5 days.
another college milestone
I’m graduating in a week, and today was the first time I checked out books from the main library. It really made me never want to check out books from there again. I got lost in a maze of non alphabetical ordering systems, and almost got squished between the book rows. but… at least I finally did it! true college student :P
my apartment is so cold that I started to fake jump rope in my room to warm up…
cold as a witch's teat
getting out of my bed in the morning and stepping out of the shower at night are the worst parts of my day.
