me (in a cooing tone): isn’t feast the cutest, sweetest dog in the whole wide world mom?! Look at him!! Look at his cute little face! He’s so cutesie wutesie!!! mom (scoffing): he should be a girl. me: feast! close your ears!!! Mother! how dare you! my poor feasty.
really itchin for some jeggings. even the name is fun!!
requiem for a dream
today I came home from dinner at midnight. me and the fam were coming ni from the garage, and when I go into the house, my grandma was sitting in the living room, mouth agape, asleep in the dark on a sofa with the TV blaring an infomercial. it was really weird because it reminded me the old mom in requiem for a dream who buys those weight loss pills from the informercials and I felt disturbed.
christmas eve with the family, rated R
mom: I don’t know if he’s ready for a girlfriend. especially one with a lot of demands dad: well, then he can just get one without a lot of demands. mom: i don’t know… dad: instinct drives him to get a girlfriend— he can’t control it. he can only masturbate so many times! I promptly choke on my crab 10 min later… dad: chris. when there are small...
i hope my parents don’t try to give feastykins away again.
graduated today. studying for two hardest finals tomorrow. such is the fickle nature of berkeley.
shivering toesies space heater is a big fail shave beast for warm socks?
i want to take all six of my books for my research paper and throw them in the toilet and say F*** YOU school!!!! ——- i will sorely miss this in…5 days.
another college milestone
I’m graduating in a week, and today was the first time I checked out books from the main library. It really made me never want to check out books from there again. I got lost in a maze of non alphabetical ordering systems, and almost got squished between the book rows. but… at least I finally did it! true college student :P
my apartment is so cold that I started to fake jump rope in my room to warm up…
cold as a witch's teat
getting out of my bed in the morning and stepping out of the shower at night are the worst parts of my day.