office minion, day 3
new rule enacted: no food or drink is allowed in office, must eat and drink in breakroom proceed to scoff: can they really not allow you to drink water??!! secretly eat nuts at desk drop an especially mischievous nut on ground that has a lot of skin brush shirt off, look around, can’t see the nut, oh well. make plans to blame it on new guy coming in today if caught. document day on...
my new favorite website to view at work
http://crazythingsparentssay.com some of the highlights… Dad: “Look, I’m going to speak for Jonathan right now… I’ve got 99 problems but a bitch ain’t one.” - Jonathan is the boy my sister likes. “The nurses all say she’s beautiful, but I haven’t been down to the nursery yet to see the other babies, so I don’t know.” -My mothers’ first entry in my baby book the day I was born. ...
stealthy white shadow sneaks past unsuspecting mom feasty’s kim chi beard.
quote 'o the day
At this moment, you are both living and dying. These facts remain with you throughout your physical experience here. Though you retain the ultimate ability to experience your life as either someone who is living, or that of someone who is dying. Which do you choose?
office minion, day 2
eavesdrop on coworker making plans for vegas. feel jealous. listen to coworker employ various defense mechanisms when proven wrong. contemplate doing some work. read google reader instead. leave in a computer induced haze.
the part that gets me most excited about the day is doing the crossword puzzle. I am devastated on Wednesday when the Daily Cal doesn’t have one. - is that sad?
daily tasks for an office minion pt. 2
eat chips and white cheddar puffs from leftover meeting. stumble, tumblr, read blogs for 2 hrs, take breaks by doing menial office tasks. contemplate what i’m doing with my life. boss comes in, scrambling to minimize screens, look busy by taping receipts. stretch out tasks so they last hours. print out tons of notes for class, yay! save $12 by printing at work instead of school. fall...
daily tasks for an office minion
call microscopy products company to ask to be removed from mailing list be put on hold for 5 minutes, listening to background country music talk to sales agent, forwarded to executive secretary executive secretary doesn’t pick up sit and contemplate what to do write “pls remove from mailing list” with sharpie on 5 different flyers. get high from sharpie. fax flyers high on...
very full of drink jack in the box fever essence of college. ——— crinkly yellow leaves beast happily pees on them even more yellow.
3 things about me
obesophobic, cacophobic, acarophobic
y e d a s e n t i e n c e
the feeling of knowing that you’ve had enough (food, cleaning, etc.)
fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of the mouth